If I had a million dollars

Habili-blog 12/17/18
“If i had a million dollars”
By Jared Mayes

I recently was in a waiting room of an establishment where I found myself doing just that; waiting…

No surprise there, but I did get to partake in one of my favorite pastimes; people watching. The highlights included the lady who was trying to disguise the nose picking by pretending to just itch her nose afterwards. The guy next to me who proudly expelled gas with no shame and the presumably drug influenced homeless guy trying his hardest to keep from falling out of his chair. The most memorable of all was a little boy not more than three years of age. Waiting patiently with who I can only assume to be his grandmother. Soon I watched as the little boy become the proud recipient of a crisp one-dollar bill. His only task was to continue to be a good boy throughout the duration of their wait and he would be allowed to spend his newly earned money at the store on the way home.

The elation of this boy’s gratitude for his gift was picturesque.

My heart was officially melted from this adorable moment which was soon met with my contemplation of whether or not to just deposit this memory into my bank of “Aww Moments,” or to self-reflect. I chose to do the latter of the options which brought me to asking the question, “Am I truly grateful?” This little boy’s entire mindset was changed in that moment.

In his head that dollar bill not only confirmed that he was a good boy, but alongside his blissful ignorance, propelled him into the financial category of a millionaire. I couldn’t help to feel envious of his ability to live his life in complete gratitude. Most of my life I have not been able to see value in anything that was given to me or done for me. If I was to receive a dollar bill, I would have no problem wiping my ass with it, lighting it on fire, and walking away with a smile on my face.

Now, granted a three-year-old doesn’t grasp the concept that in today’s world a dollar will only buy you half of a Hershey’s bar. His appreciation, however, was contagious. I thought back to every time someone had lent a hand to me to help pick me up out of the muck I had found myself in and how I squandered the opportunity. That brought me back to every time I received a gift that I was quick to pawn, sell, or trade for drugs. I even thought back to the little things like someone holding a door open for me and not truly appreciating the fact that a perfect stranger went out of their way to make my life just a little bit easier.

I believe that gratitude is an attitude.

An attitude which should be reflected in one’s behaviors. A simple thank you is just the beginning. It’s through the subsequent actions that gratitude is revealed. When you live a life filled with expectations and unfulfilled debts owed, it’s near impossible to project gratitude in your everyday life. I am not owed anything in this life. Everything must be earned. From monetary financial gains all the way to another person’s respect. The value that follows these earnings is the real prize. I could be gifted a million dollars tomorrow and not have any value for how this gift has truly affected my life. The results would be nil and sooner than later the money would be gone along with any gratitude I allowed myself to feel.

Now let’s think about the same gift but create a scenario behind it. I worked my whole adult life for a small mom and pop company. My only intentions were to show up to work everyday and do my best. I became the son the owner never had and never once acted with ill intentions. One day the old man gets sick and eventually passes. Unbeknownst to me the man chose me to give his fortunes to, totaling one million dollars. I never expected in a thousand years that this man thought anything more of me than his employee.

The same million dollars that was previously given to me, but this one was earned with no expectations.

The money now has a deeper value behind it than just six zeros behind a one. It has an emotional and grateful attachment to it. A man’s legacy and heart passed to a deserving individual, which makes this gift absolutely priceless. Although plausible, this scenario is somewhat unlikely. Who’s to say that we can’t be just as grateful for even the smallest of gestures. A dropped pen that is picked up by a friend. A bless you after a sneeze. To be truly grateful you must be able to see things for what they are and appreciate the life that is happening around you. I challenge all of you to truly think before you mutter the words “Thank you”. Those powerful two words are the starting line to living a life full of appreciation and gratitude. Where’s the finish line? Your reciprocal actions.

Don’t say you’re thankful; be thankful.