Like a Rock

Habili-blog 10/1/18
“Like a Rock”
by Jared Mayes

Hard is a very relative word.

It can be defined as a physical state; texturally solid. It can also be used situationally, describing a task or event. An antonym for the word easy. I am a “See it to believe it” kind of guy. That being said, I can look at a rock, I can touch it, and I can try to break it. If not easily broken I will be more than happy to describe said rock as “Hard.” I refuse, however, to allow myself to ever put an intangible definition on a situation that tests me. If I was to tell myself that something is Hard or undoable, I would be giving myself initial doubt that there would be a reason I can’t do it. I find it amazing how much impact our thoughts and perceptions have on our performance or willingness.

When we impose a negative connotation upon a task, we are far more likely to fail or quite frankly not even try in the first place.

Just finding alternative words to deposit into our bank of adjectives like challenging or rewarding leave more of an interpretation that although we might struggle, it will be done or conquered. A lot of that same emotional science is true with committing to sobriety and overcoming addiction. Many addicts are literally afraid to leave that lifestyle behind. It could be fear of the withdrawals, or fear of losing out on whatever minute positive results they gain from drug use. More often than not, it’s the fear that the task of getting sober is impossible, or that it is too hard for them to imagine themselves being able to commit to. Already they have given themselves the validation for them to fail and fall back into their old behaviors.

The first step of achieving sobriety is to believe that it is possible.

Once you cut out all of the excuses and rationalizations, you will have a clear picture that you are not incapable of taking control of your life. The next step is to evaluate your willingness. You have to ask yourself and determine if you are literally willing to do whatever it takes to succeed. This is the hard one because most people like to dip their toe in the swimming pool before jumping in. When inevitably the water is too cold, most will return to their lawn chairs, pop back open the tabloid magazine and give up on the quick lived goal of going swimming. There can’t be any toe dipping in sobriety. You must be all in, no matter what the conditions of the metaphorical “water” are. Lastly you must put your money where your mouth is.

Put some action behind all of the hollow words that addicts so quickly spit out.

Without the action behind a thought, it is no more than a cup of decaf coffee. Appearing refreshing and delicious, but with no results and ultimately pointless. These are the steps to committing yourself to overcoming addiction. Although in this scenario I referred to addiction, this mindset is useful in all that you do. Don’t make excuses. Don’t allow yourself to give up. Most of all, don’t use negative words like “hard” to describe tasks and goals. The only thing in my life that is “hard,” is me. Why? Because you can try to break me, but guess what? You can’t!