Absolution from the New Year’s Resolution

Habili-blog 12/28/18
“Absolution from the New Year’s Resolution”
by Jared Mayes

Well folks, the new year is officially upon us.

In a couple more days we will be watching the ball drop, remembering the good old days, forgetting the rough days, and dreaming about the future. I’ll tell you one thing, the last few days of the year for me were always spent trying to hustle up as much money and drugs as I could to drown my sorrows. Anything I could to deflect my unwillingness to join the masses in their cliché New Year’s resolutions. “I’m going to lose 20 pounds, I’m going to learn how to golf, I’m going to quit smoking”

The reality is that these people will most likely gain 20 pounds, and the closest they will get to playing golf is watching Caddy Shack while they chain smoke a pack of cigarettes. I guess the only thing I did have going for me is that I was always brutally honest with my resolution to remain the same and continue using copious amounts of drugs. To tell you the truth I still don’t subscribe to the whole resolution thing.

My only hope for the new year is to be a better me than the year previous.

If I can remain on a constant upslope of growth and personal well being then I have in my eyes succeeded. I believe the main focus of the new year should be the reflection of the previous year. As I reflect on 2018, I see the good, the bad and the ugly. The ups, the downs, and the everything in-betweens. I am a firm believer that we all must endure the struggles and pains of life to really experience and appreciate true happiness.

If there is one thing I have learned over the past few years of my life, it is that life isn’t always rainbows and unicorn farts. It is a harmonic blend of everything from losing loved ones unexpectedly, to accomplishing feats you never thought possible. I have been through a lot this past 364 days as I know you have too. I’m sure there has been tears, laughter, sorrow and joy. The only difference between this year and years past for me is I have decided to listen to the music of life instead of drowning it all out with drug use.

I can honestly say that I experience life to the fullest today.

Whether or not that means sharing what an amazing day I had with a friend or being so overwhelmed with life’s responsibilities and finding the courage to overcome the hardships. Those are the things that remind us we are capable of maximizing our potential. Potential has always been a double-edged sword for me because it always reminds me that I not only can always do better, but that in doing so I will have to put forth more effort.

For drug addicts and otherwise lazy assholes, effort isn’t our forte but eventually you must come to the paradoxical conclusion that to have an easy life you must put in hard work. The beauty of hard work is that you value the results tenfold. I don’t often think about sobriety time, as I consider myself a recovered addict which invalidates the need to count my days sober. I am however well over 2 years past the trenches of the warzone that used to be my drug infested life.

Nothing about that journey was easy. It is by far one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and probably ever have to do.

My life now, as a productive adult, is easy. All I must do is choose everyday to make good decisions based on the critical thinking of “how will this decision affect my life.” That decision used to not be as easy, and I often teetered on the losing battle of, “is putting this heroin inside my blood stream going to better me?” I see the last two years of good choices and how well it has paid off. That is the fuel that feeds my fire to go into 2019 knowing that my destiny is up to me to define. My aspirations are mine to chase.

This year I dare you to give up on the new crash diet that the movie stars recommend, give up on learning how to crochet or some other dumb pointless hobby that you’ll probably never get to. Just be a better you. Make every decision with the whole-hearted knowledge that the fate of your future could quite possibly depend on your next move. As I said before, my new year’s resolution this year is simple. To be a better me. To never stop growing as an individual, and to be happy. I have spent way too long chasing counterfeit happiness and missing out on life’s beauty.

So, what do you say we step right into the New year and kick 2019’s ass!