Snow Day
Doing service in the community is important. We gave away trees to needy families and supported the island snow day for kids! Yup, Snow in Hawaii… truck loads!
Lets Get Real Here…It’s a Right of Passage!
We encounter many things in our efforts to help people reclaim their lives after succumbing to addiction. Unfortunately there are so many misconceptions that many people just don’t really understand all the issues related to addiction and, more importantly, the recovery process. We often find that families have the idea that they will send their loved one off to rehab and they will come back healed!
First let get something straight… We don’t heal anyone! We never have and we never will. There is no magic cure. I wish there was because the world would be a better place and I would be a very rich man. Unfortunately, to date no one has found a magic pill that will cure addiction and they never will. Why not you ask? Because addiction is not so much an issue of drug use. In fact, the use of substances is merely a symptom of a combination of things.
“We CAN’T medicate ourselves out of a problem that we behaved ourselves into!”
Yes, that’s right….
That goes for anything. Americans seem to think that there is a pill for everything. Think about it! People spend years practicing a set of behaviors that lead to eventual unstable health (mental, emotional or otherwise.) To expect lasting change from a pill is simply a recipe for disaster. In order to change one must change the behaviors that created the situation. In most cases that requires a change of lifestyle.
So, now to the point of this rant!
Habilitat works very hard to prepare individuals for a productive lifestyle. The point of our organization is to empower people to become independent and self-reliant. Our philosophy is simple. Hard work and strong values make a person worthy of feeling good about their lives which eventually leads to a meaningful life one can be proud of.
Many people come to Habilitat unable to even look at themselves in the mirror without feeling deep self loathing. Our regimen guides people through those feelings are helps create a self identity that is strong, confident and ready to embrace the challenges of everyday life.
That confidence is built from one’s ability to overcome the numerous obstacles they face in our artificial imposed environment. When a person leaves Habilitat they feel good because they have accomplished things that they didn’t even know they were capable of.
See, addicts often possesses qualities that other people just don’t have. We usually have a unique “sixth sense” that we developed from life in the addictive process. Add to that the creativeness and tenacious will we had to get high and you have a person who has the ability to achieve great things. We just need direction. In fact, the very skills that we used to find, fund and chase the drug can be focused and directed to create a very interesting lifestyle. We have seen it over and over again.
Still we need to get real here. The reality is that only a little over 1/3 of people who enter Habilitat actually finish it. Why? Because it’s hard. Habilitat will work for anyone but it doesn’t work for everyone. Not everyone is willing to go through the programming to redirect those “dope fiend” qualities to become a “recovered addict.”
Of those that do finish Habilitat, about 54% never have issues with addiction of substances again. Obviously that means that 46% continue to use drugs after the Habilitat experience! The question is WHY!
There is no simple answer. Some come to Habilitat to avoid incarceration. Some to get their parents off their back. Some come because they are tired of the results of their addiction. Whatever the reason it always has to do with some for of pressure, street pressure, family pressure or legal pressure. Either way, 56% of the ones that finish Habilitat go out into the world and create a life for themselves, recovered from their addiction.
So for those who return to their addiction…. How and why does it happen? Those people in that 46% have some things in common. This is not always the case but it sure seems to be something to take note of. Here is what we have observed through the years.
- They return to the exact environment they came from.
- They don’t get to work as soon as they leave Habilitat.
- They move back in with enabling family.
- They immediately search for a romantic relationship.
- They get involved in an unhealthy relationship.
- They fail to secure employment and take the welfare handout.
- They choose to associate with old friends or family who are on drugs.
- They think its ok to drink alcohol since it is legal which leads to drug use.
There are probably more precursors to continued addiction. We have tried to identify the most common here. It seems that there are usually combinations of factors that contribute to the fall. That’s why we teach people to consider what is SAFE first.
We continue to work toward educating families so that their lack of knowledge will not end up contributing to the demise of our proud graduates. When someone leaves Habilitat as a graduate the have been conditioned, seasoned if you will, to use critical thinking to insure their safety. They are programmed to do things to the very best of their ability. They are hard workers and feel a new sense of independence and they will continue that as long as they continue to do the very things that brought them to that place.
Its not rocket science! In fact, its mostly common sense. Lets face it, common sense is not quite so common anymore!
You wouldn’t believe how many people we have seen go down the tubes after leaving Habilitat simply because the families wouldn’t allow the person to “Do For Themselves.”
We have come to believe that it is usually fueled by guilt and sometimes misguided love. Often times families want to make things easier by taking care of everything upon program completion. This is probably the 1st sign of impending disaster.
Lets take a better look at this… person comes to Habilitat because they can’t get their act together. They work hard and get to a point where they are not only capable but are actually doing what society expects and then some. Now they practice this for a while then when we feel they have a great chance of continued success we send them back into the world. The parents are so happy that they now want to celebrate by giving them everything and making things as easy as possible.
Take note here…
1st…They got better because we MADE them work their butts off and earn EVERYTHING!
2nd…Why the heck would we want to celebrate the fact that someone is doing what is expected anyway? What message does that send? People always ask why I don’t celebrate my sobriety date. Simple! I will not celebrate something that I should have been doing all along!
A very famous Fredrick Douglas once said “Without a struggle the can be no progress.”
Guys, trust us on this one… The struggles that one faces after Habilitat will define the individual’s future. The more you do to remove the struggle… the more you do to disable the very person you think you are helping. The struggles are a “right of passage” from dependent addict to independent adult, and outstanding member of our society.
You see, we spend an average of 2.5 years teaching people the survival skills needed to live a productive life without substances. That’s it… we teach the skills… It’s up to them to go out and use them. If you remove their ability to use those skills you remove their ability to survive (based on what we taught them.)
Now here is the lesson… The less you do for our graduates… the better their chances. PERIOD!
They are perfectly capable of doing everything on their own. We wouldn’t call them a graduate otherwise!
So PLEASE! Rethink your guilt, your motives. Consider what you do and why you do it. Is it helping or is it contributing to the eventual demise of someone who had a fighting chance… if only they could have been allowed to do it on their own!
I hope we haven’t offended anyone here. But if we did then I guess the message hit home! The fact is that this stuff is so common that it needs to be said. We take what we do here very seriously. It’s deadly serious in fact. See, we get phone calls from parents who say “I wish we would have listened!” For them it’s too late. On average we receive two or three calls a year from parents who didn’t listen and regret it only after its too late.
For those of you who want more info…. Read our founder’s book. Its called Journey to Hell and can be purchased on Amazon I think.
Aloha until the next time!
